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Woman Writes Scathing Four-Sentence Obit for Late Mom: 'Ding Dong, the Witch Is Dead'

By Donny Meacham

Woman Writes Scathing Four-Sentence Obit for Late Mom: 'Ding Dong, the Witch Is Dead'

A woman didn't mince her words when it came time to write her mother's obituary. Now, the scathing send-off has gone viral.

Christina Novak placed an obit for her mom Florence, who died back in February, in Maine's Kennebec Journal.

Although only four sentences, Novak's sentiment toward her late parent was loud and clear.

"Florence 'Flo' Harrelson, 65, formerly of Chelsea, died on Feb. 22, 2024, without family by her side due to burnt bridges and a wake of destruction left in her path," the scathing death notice, published on Aug. 30, reads.

"Florence did not want an obituary or anyone including family to know she died. That's because even in death, she wanted those she terrorized to still be living in fear looking over their shoulders. So, this isn't so much an obituary, but more of a public service announcement," the obit continues.

Novak told Bangor Daily News she thought about going the traditional route while penning the obit, but settled on keeping it real.

"When I wrote it. I wasn't mad, I wasn't angry. I was actually sitting with pen and paper and giggling to myself," she told the newspaper.

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She only paid $86 for the sarcastic obit, but noted the reactions she's received has made it "priceless."

"It's a PSA and it's no joke. It was written with sarcasm and relief, but it's real," Novak told People.

She added that she settled on a short obit as they are priced by the word and she "refused to spend another dollar on that woman."

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