Getting engaged to your partner might feel like you've already won your future, but there are a lot of things to consider before saying "I do." When it comes to a commitment as big as marriage, you have to focus on the reality of building a life together. And just like there are some essential questions you need to ask on a first date, there are some even more important questions to ask before getting married.

From deciding whether to combine bank accounts with your partner to discussing where you stand on children, having these important conversations before you get married is absolutely vital. It's also worth thinking about the less obvious things you should have in common with your partner, like how you deal with conflict or what your love language is.

Though it may be tempting to jump right into the wedding planning process, take some time to consider what you haven't discussed with your partner. To help, couples therapist Debra Castaldo, PhD, shares her thoughts on the most important questions to ask before getting married.

Debra Castaldo, PhD, is a couples and family therapist.

"When considering marriage, history matters," Dr. Castaldo says. Knowing someone's past can tell you a lot about their future. For this reason, Dr. Castaldo says there are four main topics that should be discussed as early as possible in a relationship, but especially before getting married: relationship history, financial history, sexual history, and mental health history.

While these four pillars of your past are important to bring up, asking your partner questions about the future is equally as necessary. This includes conversations about kids, how you'll handle future conflicts, what your future goals entail, and more. Below are some specific questions to ask before getting married as they relate to these core pillars.

Depending on how you and your partner answer these questions, you should have a good idea on how fulfilling your marriage will be. But if there's something else you want to know about your partner, don't be afraid to ask it. "Marriage is the biggest emotional business decision you will ever make," Dr. Castaldo says. "Ask away. You deserve to know what your are taking on."