Living through history, you don't know how choices affect the future.
For Altadena historian and author Michele Zack, grasping that uncertainty is what makes the history come alive.
What did it feel like to step into the unknown?
"I just love the fact that history is never over. It's never finished. We can still argue about it and find new interpretations," Zack said.
This year marks the 20th anniversary of Zack's book, "Altadena: Between Wilderness and City," published in 2004.
The most important aspect of the book, Zack said, was to follow the changes made to the land Altadena sits upon.
Starting in the mission period, moving through the agricultural period, World War II, and Pasadena's intertwined records of segregation, the book provides a comprehensive view of Altadena's changes over the ages.
"Everything that happens on a piece of land leaves a trace on everything that comes after," Zack said.
Pasadena historian Ann Scheid wrote in a review: "Zack has produced a history that is not just a chronology but also makes excursions via numerous sidebars into narrower subjects and personal reminiscences. ... The generally episodic format of the main text leaves it up to the reader to weave together a narrative with which to follow such important recurring themes throughout."
Kevin Starr, the late and prominent state historian and scholar, gave Zack one of the most thrilling moments of her life when he told her that not only did he love her book, but that he would also write a testimonial for the back cover.
"Michele Zack pays her subject the tribute of extensive research, vigorous narrative, and the fullest possible honesty," wrote Starr. "This is history as written by a writer of insight who knows that Altadena as place, city, reality, and dream, encompasses the range and richness of American life."
The then-President of the Altadena Historical Society commissioned Zack to write the book after the previous contracted author "skipped town," said Zack. The donor list on the back of the book shows that "over a hundred people donated less than $100, and an additional seventy-five gave less than $250 ... This is truly a community book," wrote Scheid.
Zack won the Donald H. Pflueger Local History Award for Altadena. Both Altadena and Southern California Story (2009) -- her book on Sierra Madre's history -- received recognition from the nation's most prestigious competition, the American Association of State and Local History.
As Altadena Blog's Timothy Rutt put it, "Zack does not only write about local history: she makes it." In partnership with the Huntington-USC Institute on California and the West, Zack wrote and programmed several national Teaching American History grants to highlight local stories within national history.
She has also served on the Town Council, in Altadena Heritage, and is working to restore the gravesite of Owen Brown, a local abolitionist. The city nominated her as Citizen of the Year in 2012 for the myriad of community activities she was involved in.
Sierra Madre Playhouse Curator Diane Siegel attended one of the Teaching American History workshops Zack hosted. What struck her the most was the fact that Zack brought in people who had personally experienced de-segregation in Pasadena.
"She's a real scholar and she is a good storyteller as well," said Siegel. "This ability to bring forth people whom you will hear the genuine voices about how they experience a situation - it was a very, very good workshop."
Despite the initial sell-out success of Altadena's first two printings, the historical society has no plans for further publication. According to Zack, the book was so popular that real estate agents used to give Altadena as a closing gift to their clients. One woman told Zack that her book inspired her to move to Altadena from Mexico.
"That was very moving to think that I had impacted someone's life in that way. It just kind of gave me the goosebumps," said Zack. "Very humbling. If I'd written a bad book, she wouldn't have moved here."
Before the Altadena Historical Society commissioned Zack for the book, she originally looked down on local history.
In the 1990s, Zack worked as a reporter for AsiaWeek and Far Eastern Economic Review while living in Thailand. She also wrote economic development speeches for three prime ministers, as well as other officials. Going from a foreign correspondent to writing local stories was "depressing," she said.
"I went through the process, and completely changed my tune," said Zack. "I've been all history, all the time, ever since. ... All of a sudden, the place I live in made so much more sense. Why don't they ever teach kids this? It's so much more interesting than you think it would be."
When she wrote about the civil rights movement in Altadena, her experiences made the history feel personal. Until the last day of junior high, Zack believed she would go to the same high school her sister did: Pasadena High School.
Instead, she attended John Muir High School; in her adult years, she now knows this course correction was tied to Pasadena's attempts to segregate the city.
"It was such a positive experience for me that I began to think, 'Well, why do people think integration's so bad?'" Zack said. "As you're young, you don't understand a lot of things about class and race. But then, I started to understand it through my own experience, what people were afraid of."
Above all, what guides Zack is a pursuit of the truth. More and more people, she said, are looking back at history because they're scared of another Civil War. Rather than getting lost in the details, Zack tries to draw out ideas from the larger historical theme.
"History, and especially historical heroes, they're like the avatars we try to understand our country and our culture through," said Zack. "Ideas are really important. The idea of the United States, the idea of democracy, and the idea of 'one man, one vote' are all extremely powerful."
Learning about the history of the city she lived in added depth and meaning to her place in it, Zack said. As she became more aware of her lineage via immigration, Zack realized how history has affected her life in more ways than one.
"The duties and responsibilities of citizenship I take really seriously because I'm an immigrant. I remember my parents studying to take the test to become Americans," said Zack. "Instead of history being over there, somewhere else, happening to someone else, you can bring it home."